How to deal with Uncertainty and Change

How we usually react to change

Getting angry and complaining: When things don’t go our way, our initial response most of the time is to get angry and complain that this has happened to us. This makes things much worse as we end up creating even a more negative narrative in our minds.

Seeking distractions and comfort: This is amongst the first things we tend to do to distract us from the changes that have happened in our life. This could come in the form of eating massive amounts of junk food, pornography, playing video games all day, spending too much time on social media, etc.

Trying to control or change: Our minds will tell you ridiculous things sometimes just to avoid the feeling of new changes and uncertainty. It’s sometimes good to have some sort of control in how you live your life, but trying to control things that are not in your control can only make things more stressful and difficult for you in the long run.

Disconnecting from friends and family: This is another common trait when people are forced to deal with challenging situations. We tend to isolate ourselves from the world because we are deeply hurt about how life and sometimes other people’s actions have been unfair to us. It’s good to take time for yourself to reflect and do some inner work, but it’s not a good idea to completely cut people off. We are all human beings and sometimes we all need love and help from people who care about us.

So how do we get better at dealing with uncertainty and change?

Our minds do not like change in most cases. Our mind prefers the comfortable and familiar over the unknown and unfamiliar. This is the first step we all should recognize when learning how to deal better with change. Whenever something is changing or about to change, tell yourself that not all changes are bad even if it may feel like it. Slowly work on changing the narrative in your head that it actually might be for the better. All the uncomfortable and uneasy feelings are in your head, therefore it can be worked on and rewired for the better. Below are some things that you can practice in your journey towards accepting change gracefully.

Notice your resistance: Whenever you know somethings changing or about to change, you would usually fret over it and jump to conclusions about what is going to happen, etc. So as soon as you know something’s going to change, pause for a moment and notice that it’s nothing more than resistance in your mind.

Bring your awareness to the present moment: It’s very normal if your mind is clouded with all the what-ifs and what will happen when the change happens. We all tend to stress about the thoughts (usually about the future circumstances of change) and not the real situation. So as soon as you feel the resistance, find a quiet space where you can be alone for a while and take slow deep breaths to ground yourself to the present moment. Bring your awareness to the current situation where everything is okay.

Move from expectations to actions: We live in a world that is highly connected and interdependent. So, it’s very natural to have expectations from other people starting from your own home to your workplace, etc. But in a lot of cases, people fall short of these expectations making us feel like they don’t care enough. But most of the time they are also just like us expecting something else from someone else and not getting that outcome they wanted. You can count on others for certain things but always know it might not be up to your expectations. So, what is the best thing to do? Shift your focus on planning and executing your own plan to have the experiences you want to have in life.

Focus on the things you can control: I can’t say for sure why, but we are always more focused on the seemingly big problem that we have rather than focusing on what we can do to make things better in the present moment. For instance, it has been 3 months since I lost my job due to the covid-19 pandemic and my initial inner response to the news was pretty bad. But slowly my focus shifted on what I have to do move on with my life and build the kind of life I want.

Practice mindfulness: This is something you should be practicing every day despite where you are in your life. It really helps to deal with most things in life in a healthier way when you’re living in the present moment. If you obsess about the things that could happen tomorrow or near future, you constantly fail to see the little joys in life. Meditation is the best and simplest way to practice mindfulness. However, any activity that reminds you to stay focus and alert of the present moment will train you to be more mindful.

The sooner you learn that the only constant thing in life is change, the better your life will be. If you think you have figured out everything and designed your life in such a way that everything will go as your plan, it surely is an illusion. The stress that comes with uncertainty can seem very daunting. But with the right mindset, approach, and daily practice, you could be more accepting of life as it is and embrace the truly unpredictable nature of life. We are all here only for a very brief period. Let’s make the best out of it.