All You Need to Know About Friendships

 

What is Friendship?

 

The friendships we build throughout our lives both as children and adults help shape our personality and characteristics. 

 

A Friendship is a relationship or mutual bond between two or more people exclusive of sexuality and family relationships. 

 

Friendships are usually built on mutual interests and affection. During our lifetime, we build friendships as children in school, adolescents in college and university, and then at workplaces and other social settings as adults.  

 

Friendships can contribute to your success or failure, important life decisions, and many other aspects of a person’s life. Thus the saying “Choose your friends wisely.”

 

What defines a Good Friendship?

 

A good friendship is defined by the qualities it exhibits. A friendship can mean many different things to different people. But a general rule to follow is that a friendship is supposed to support you during difficult times and contribute to your overall growth.

 

Below are some good qualities to look for when choosing and keeping people as friends in your life.

1. Trustworthiness

 

Trustworthiness is one of the most important qualities needed for a good friendship. Trust takes time to be earned but just a moment to be lost. 

 

Initially, when you meet someone, it may not come off as that important as they do not know much about you. But over time, once you become close to someone and before sharing personal things about your life, you should ask yourself, can I trust this person?

 

This is why people have a smaller circle of people they call close friends. 

2. Accountability

 

Another essential quality of a good friendship is accountability. Good friends will hold you accountable for your goals and actions and vice versa. Both you and your friends should reciprocate accountability and always help each other stay true to yourself.

Friends who always agree with you despite you being wrong may seem like doing you a favor by validating your feelings temporarily, but they are not helping you grow in the long term. A good friend will tell you what you don’t want to hear when it’s due and you need to do the same for them.

3. Confidant

 

You should also be able to confide in a good friend. When you’re going through difficult times and need to share things that are sensitive and personal, you should be able to trust that your closest people can keep secrets and will not use them against you in the future. 

4. Open communication

 

Honest and open communication is key for not just good friendships but any relationship. You and your friends should be able to communicate openly without judgment especially if it’s about a sensitive subject that may be difficult to talk about. 

5. Acceptance

 

All of us are created the same but with so many differences in personality, beliefs, values, and lifestyle. To build and maintain friendships, we need to accept our friends’ differences from us and respect that each person has a choice to live life their way as long as it’s not harming themselves and others around them. 

Why do we struggle to make Friends?

 

As adults, a lot of people struggle to make friends. Below are some of the most common reasons we find it difficult to find good friends once you reach a certain age. 

 

1. Already established circle of friends

 

While most people are open to meeting new people, most of them already have friends from a long time back that they know well and trust. 

 

Hence, it takes them more time to fully accept a new person into their close circle of friends and consider that person part of the group. 

 

2. Difficult to open up to new people as adults

 

We go through so many experiences as we grow up and become adults. A lot of them are bad experiences and change us in some way. As adults, a lot of us find it difficult to open up to new people and become close to them. 

 

This can become a barrier to building close friendships with people who are looking for authentic friendships where they are very closely knit with their circle of friends. 

 

3. Limited time due to other commitments

 

Let’s be real. Most of us don’t have enough time to take care of all the commitments we need to take care of. We barely make it through the day without missing a meal and time for exercise and self-care.

 

It can feel overwhelming to find the time to meet and build friendships even if you feel like you need to due to time constraints.  

 

4. Personality traits

 

We all have different personality traits. Some are great communicators and feel very comfortable and confident meeting new people. Others find it so difficult to strike up a conversation with a new person. 

 

These different personality traits can make it very difficult to make friends as an adult as you feel uncomfortable and tend to avoid such situations. 

 

5. Social Anxiety

 

Social Anxiety is a common reason why so many adults are unable to build healthy and lasting friendships. People with social anxiety avoid going out and spending time with people who in return are kind of expecting their friends to show up to these places and hang out with them.  

How to Make Friends as an Adult

 

Now that we know some of the challenges to building friendships, let’s look at some creative and fun ways to enhance your efforts in making friends who may become some of the best people you meet in your life.

 

1. Do volunteer work

 

Volunteering can be a fun way to find people who care about the same causes that you do and also portray great qualities such as selflessness. 

 

Look out for volunteer opportunities in your area, sign up for them, and attend with an open mind. 

 

2. Hangout with colleagues outside of work

 

You may already have great colleagues who you work with. You just meet them only at the office and your relationship with them is mostly about work. 

 

If that’s the case, plan some things with them outside of work such as going out, inviting them to the same gym as you, etc. This will allow you to know them on a more personal level. Who knows they may turn out to be a great friend.

 

3. Take part in social events

 

I know this might not be practical for everyone. Especially if you have social anxiety. But if you are serious about making new friends, this can be one of the best ways to meet and hang out with people. 

 

Most of us lead busy lives and social events are where we relax and enjoy socializing with different people. So work on yourself to overcome social anxiety and try to go to such places as much as you can. 

 

4. Visit neighborhood small businesses more often

 

We live in such connected societies and depend on each other for almost everything. We go to our neighborhood grocery store for daily supplies, we have our favorite coffee shops, our gym, barber, etc.

 

Put an effort into knowing the people behind these businesses for reasons other than your daily or weekly transactions. Spend time with them and the other people who go to these places often. I bet you’ll get to know some amazing people who you’ve never noticed before.

 

5. Pick up a hobby 

 

Picking up a hobby such as yoga, surfing, art, running, etc can introduce you to groups of enthusiasts of these activities. This can be one of the best ways to meet people with similar interests regularly without the pressure of making friends. 

 

The more you hang out with such people sharing common interests, friendships will usually nurture naturally.

 

6. Travel

 

Traveling is one of the best ways to make new friends. While traveling may mean you usually meet people for shorter periods, you come across many interesting people doing many inspiring things in life. 

 

You get to listen and share stories with people from many different cultures. I have friends who I’ve met in my travels who will be happy to meet me when I am in their country and you get to do the same. I understand this is somewhat out of our traditional definition of friends, but it’s still worth having a local friend in many countries you visit.  

Signs of a Poor Friendship and Why You Should End It 

 

Friendships don’t always work out. Throughout our lifetime we make many friends, some that change our lives for the better and others for the worse. 

 

Part of friendships is also knowing when to let go of friendships that aren’t worth your time. Below are some signs of a poor friendship and it may be time to let go of those people. 

 

1. Constant hatred or judgment toward others

 

If the main driving force behind your friendship with someone is constant hatred or judgment towards other people, it’s a sign that your friendship is not based on growth.

 

If you notice that you’ve only started being this way when you’re with a certain friend, they may be influencing you without you being aware of it.  

 

2. Secretively talking bad about you to others (Instead of talking to you)

 

Sometimes people who you think are your friends talk behind your back. True friends speak to you before talking to others about an issue they have with something you may have done.

 

If you start hearing that your friend is talking bad about you to others, you should speak to them about it to verify if it’s true. In most cases, (not always) you only hear such things when it’s true. 

 

3. Feeling let down instead of being supported

 

Your growth is your responsibility and not anyone else’s. However, friends are supposed to support and uplift each other. 

 

If you feel your friends do not show any genuine interest in topics related to growth or constantly downplay such discussions, those friendships might not be worth your time.

 

4. Don’t hear from them unless they need something

 

This is a classic sign of poor friendship and happens all too often. If you have friends like this, it’s not worth it. Chances are they value your friendship for their selfish reasons. 

 

5. Your friendship is all about fun and not about growth

 

If your friendship is all about going out, partying or drinking, and doing fun activities, it may not be a good friendship for the long term. 

Choose to develop and spend your energy and time on friendships that value a balance of both fun as well as personal growth. 

 

Conclusion

 

Friendships are a great source of support, security, and growth. We all have limited time on this planet and should spend it wisely. Take a moment to think about all the friendships you are currently spending time on. Are they the best people to have as friends?  

Family Relationships – Your Guide to Establishing Healthy Relationships with Family

 

 

Families are one of the most important aspects of being human. We are all part of a family biologically even if you’re part of a family that may be dysfunctional.

 

While no family is perfect, if you’re part of a family that respects each other, cares for one another, and makes an effort to stick together, consider yourself lucky as so many people do not have much connection with their biological family members. 

 

What are Family Relationships?

 

Family relationships are your connections through birth, marriage, or adoption. Family relationships include the relationships you have with your parents, grandparents, children, siblings, cousins, etc. 

 

In a more casual setting, people have also redefined family relationships to include long-time friends, colleagues, and others who you have known for a long time.

 

Your definition of family may be subjective to your upbringing, personality, and life consequences.

How does Family Relationships affect us? 

 

Your biological family members are amongst the first people who you build relationships with. Starting from your primary caregivers, in most cases your biological parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. 

 

The relationships you build with them at such a young age have a significant impact on your attachment styles and ability to build and maintain healthy relationships as an adult. 

 

People who are part of families with healthy relationships are generally more trusting, understanding, and easy to get along with. 

 

However, If you aren’t lucky enough to have a healthy family relationship background, it doesn’t mean you can’t build and maintain healthy relationships as an adult. 

 

Other factors such as your upbringing, attachment styles, self-awareness, and interpersonal skills can impact your ability to do so.

 

Now that we understand how our family relationships affect us, let’s learn more about some common obstacles faced by today’s families in having healthy relationships with each other.

Common Obstacles to Healthy Family Relationships

 

1. Misunderstanding or Poor communication

 

One of the most common and impactful obstacles to building and maintaining healthy relationships within your family is misunderstandings mostly caused by poor communication.

 

A lot of issues faced by modern families can be solved if all members are willing to communicate more about their decisions and the reasoning behind them when it comes to things that impact other members of the family. 

 

2. Personality clashes

 

One or more members of the family can have clashing personality types just like in any other settings where relationships are required such as work environments etc. 

 

If there are multiple individuals within a family with commanding personalities, it’s highly likely to create disagreements which can lead to arguments. 

 

3. Lifestyle differences

 

Even if all family members share a common upbringing and have access to the same kind of information and guidance, at one point we all meet different friends and other outside influences that start shaping our lifestyle choices. 

 

It’s not uncommon to see some family relationships being put on the back burner due to lifestyle differences and an inability to adapt and accept each other’s differences. 

 

4. Jealousy

 

Jealousy is a human emotion we all feel. No matter how successful you are, you are bound to feel jealous of someone else at some point in life. In families, it is no different. 

 

One or more members of a family may seemingly have achieved more in life which may cause another member of the family to feel jealous and develop a dislike towards that person. 

 

5. Financial Issues

 

Finances are one of the most sensitive subjects in the world and also most likely to create conflict between people. 

 

There are so many financial aspects within a family such as who is responsible for what, how much money someone makes and how they spend it etc, that can lead to problems within the family.  

How to Improve Family Relationships

 

If your current family relationships are on the downhill or if they’ve always been toxic, below are some practical things you can do to make an effort to improve them and have better and healthier relationships with your family members.

 

1. Proper communication 

 

Proper communication with your family means taking the time to check in with them, talking to them about their life, and overall maintaining contact with them. In today’s age, it can be done in the form of calls, family chat groups, and many other ways.

 

However, it also goes beyond the general chit-chat. You should also be communicating with your family members about major life decisions and the reasoning behind them especially if your decisions may have an impact on their lives. 

 

Having difficult conversations in times of conflict resolution is also a critical part of proper communication required for building and maintaining healthy family relationships.

 

2. Empathy

 

Showing empathy towards your family members is another very important factor in building healthy family relationships. Being able to see things from their perspective and feeling how it would feel to be them under difficult situations they go through can help them understand that you truly care about them.

 

This can create a strong bond that you never thought was possible. 

 

3. Listen to understand

 

We all tend to listen just to respond with our opinions on things. However, one of the best things you can do to build healthy family relationships is to listen to your family members talk, to understand and be there for them. 

 

A lot of the time, all people want is someone to listen to their concerns and not tell them what to do. 

 

4. Spending quality time together

 

This is without a doubt one of the most impactful things on this list. Human beings are closer to people who spend quality time with them and build memories together. 

Taking the initiative to plan gatherings such as family meals and trips during holidays and special occasions can lead to more members of your family than you expected showing up and making memories together. 

 

5. Accepting differences

 

No matter how big or small your family is, there will be multiple different personalities. Some of them you get along with very well and share common interests with while others couldn’t be more different from you.

 

Learn to accept your differences and respect each other. Try to communicate the “live and let live” philosophy with them. 

 

6. Take responsibility for your mistakes

 

We all make mistakes. Maybe you forgot to communicate the details of a family event properly or didn’t do as you said you would which led to some unhappy family members. 

 

When you know the mistake was on your end, let go of your ego and take responsibility by apologizing. 

 

7. Work on self-improvement

 

A lot of the time conflict is also related to your inability to deal with things, express yourself, and be more willing to accept situations and people. 

 

By constantly working on your self-improvement through self-care, mindfulness, and meditation, you can become a better version of yourself and be there for your family in a much better way.

 

8. Express genuine love and care

 

Most of us are taught not to be too expressive of emotions. We often struggle to show emotions even when we feel them. Try to let go of this idea and become more open to showing genuine joy, love, and care towards your family members.

 

Of course, I do understand it’s easier said than done and maybe a real challenge if you’re not accustomed to it. But showing love in the form of hugs, emotional support, heartfelt conversations and so much more can help you build deeper connections with your family. 

 

Conclusion

 

While family relationships are a dynamic aspect of our lives and not easy at all, they can often be one of the most rewarding and reliable support systems for building a life of success and fulfillment.  

Communication in Relationships – 10 Tips to Transform Your Relationship

 

Relationships require effective communication to survive and thrive in the long term. In this post, we will dive deep into communication dynamics in a romantic relationship and share 10 tips to improve communication in relationships.

 

What is good communication in a Relationship?

 

Good communication in relationships has qualities such as consistency, respect, honesty, listening, empathy, understanding, and fairness. 

 

In relationships where couples maintain good communication, both partners can address their concerns without the conversation escalating into an argument, both partners feel safe to talk to each other and have trust that privacy will be maintained.

 

Both partners empathize with each other’s feelings, listen to understand rather than talk, and give each other time to express themselves freely. Moreover, both partners make the time daily to talk to each other and put in equal effort to maintain a healthy relationship.  

 

What are the barriers to effective communication in a Relationship?

 

A lot of couples admit to having great difficulties maintaining healthy communication in their relationship. Below are some common challenges to effective communication in relationships you may be able to relate to.

 

1. Avoidant behavior

 

If even one partner has avoidant behavior and has the tendency to avoid conversations that may bring negative emotions, he or she may look for ways to avoid communication despite having issues that need to be addressed.

 

2. Anger issues

 

For most people, dealing with angry or aggressive behavior is difficult especially if it comes from a romantic partner. If you find yourself unable to express your feelings and concerns due to the fear of making your partner angry, this can cause a major interruption to proper communication.

 

3. Inability to express feelings

 

Even in relationships where both partners are kind, open-minded, and willing to hear each other out, one partner may simply struggle to put their message across with clarity as they are unable to express themselves due to various reasons such as upbringing or psychological conditions.

 

4. Conflicting personality types

 

Another challenging barrier to effective communication in relationships is conflicting personality types. If both partners have different aspects of their personalities that are competitive and clashing, it can become very difficult to have a calm and understanding conversation without things escalating. 

 

5. Dishonesty

 

If one or both partners have things to hide from each other, especially things that can compromise the relationship, communication is amongst the first things to take a backseat making room for secrecy, avoidance, and other toxic behaviors. 

 

6. Attachment styles

 

We all have our attachment styles developed from our upbringing and the relationship we had with our parents. People with a secure attachment style usually communicate better and therefore have better communication in their relationships as opposed to people with insecure attachment styles. 

How do you fix poor communication in a Relationship?

 

Now that you understand some common barriers to effective communication in relationships, let’s look at some practical tips you can start using together with your partner to establish and maintain healthy communication. 

 

1. Communicate your needs before a serious commitment

 

I understand it might be a little late for this for some of you at this point. However, this is something you should always keep in mind and never compromise on. When you start dating someone, this may not be as important at first. 

 

However, when things start getting serious, this is one of the first conversations you should have. If both of you are not on the same page, things are likely to get difficult later when there are feelings and emotions involved. 

 

2. Give each other space

 

As important as talking to each other regularly is, so is giving each other the space to feel all the feelings and emotions. Especially when things get difficult and you feel like the conversation is heading towards an argument where you’re both likely to say hurtful things.

 

3. Agree on a time to talk

 

As adults, you’re both going to have so many different responsibilities outside your relationship with each other. Work, family, finances, and many other things are going to cause stress in your life and you need to find the right time for both partners to discuss important things in your relationship.

 

It makes a huge difference when you talk to your partner at a mutually agreed time especially if it is about sensitive subjects. 

 

4. Take ownership of your problems

 

When problems arise, it’s easier to blame it on your partner than take responsibility. However, to maintain healthy communication, both partners need to take ownership of their part in any issues and reassure each other that they will work on improving it. 

 

5. Remain calm during conversations

 

It’s often difficult to keep calm when so many emotions and feelings are involved. By practicing mindfulness and meditation you can improve your sense of clarity and improve your chances of remaining calm and composed when having difficult conversations.  

 

6. Listen to understand

 

A lot of the time we listen to respond and not to understand the other person. Instead, both partners can agree to let each other speak without interrupting and wait for your turn to speak your mind. 

 

By doing this both partners have a better chance of understanding the other person and therefore have a higher chance of conflict resolution. 

 

7. Be okay with being vulnerable

 

We all want to be strong. This is the message that has shaped our parents and therefore passed down to us. Sure we all need to be strong when it matters. But that doesn’t mean you can’t show any vulnerability. 

 

No matter how strong you are, you will feel negative emotions and there needs to be a healthy way and a safe space to express them. After all, you’re talking to your partner or spouse. Let that be your safe space. 

8. Don’t take things too personally

 

Sometimes, your partner may not feel like talking. And if they tell you they just need some time and space to think for themselves, respect that, and know that it’s not always about you and it could be entirely something else they need to figure out themselves. 

 

9. Don’t bring up other problems

 

This happens too often when talking about problems in your relationship. One partner will bring up something else that’s bothering them and the other partner will do the same and before you know it, the conversation becomes an argument. 

 

Sometimes, it’s hard to be aware when this happens as things are said in the heat of the moment. However, you can always keep trying to be more mindful of sticking to the issue you’re talking about and not bringing up other problems. 

 

10. Accept disagreements are part of any relationship 

 

Even in the most healthiest relationships, disagreements happen. No matter how compatible you are with your partner, you will never be able to agree on everything.

 

Accept that disagreements, difficult conversations, and arguments are part of any healthy relationship. As long as both of you are willing to apologize when due, take responsibility, accept your differences, and commit to working on your relationship the relationship should continue to thrive. 

 

How to deal with a partner who won’t communicate properly

 

Proper communication in relationships requires effort and willingness from both partners. If you’re currently in a relationship with someone struggling to maintain healthy communication with you, below are some realistic efforts worth trying.

 

1. Ask them for their time

 

Ask them politely if they can free up some time to discuss the issues you currently face in your relationship.

 

2. Explain to them why it’s important for the relationship

 

Explain to them that not talking about it is causing you to bottle up your feelings and causing you pain. Tell them you want to understand their concerns and work together to find solutions before issues become bigger. 

 

3. Be more understanding of their inability to communicate instead of criticizing

 

Tell them you understand that it’s difficult for them to express their feelings and you’re there for them to listen and help them communicate better by asking questions politely and putting the message across. 

 

4. Suggest professional help

 

If you have tried the above steps and none of them seem to work, suggest that you both seek professional help who can recommend some actionable steps to communicate better and find solutions. 

 

5. Learn when to let go 

 

Sometimes, despite all your best efforts people may refuse to accept that they don’t communicate properly and reject any solutions you offer them to help and save the relationship. 

 

If it comes to this, you must have the courage to make the right decision even if it may be painful as otherwise you may throw away your chances of finding the right person for you and building the life you’ve always wanted for yourself and your family.  

Understanding Relationship Anxiety: Signs and How to overcome them

 

A romantic relationship with the ideal partner is a dream for most people. We all dream about it from a young age and wait impatiently to meet that person. 

 

However, once you get there and the honeymoon phase of your relationship passes, it becomes clear that there are so many more dynamics to a romantic relationship. A healthy relationship consists of love, communication, shared interests, conflicts, conflict resolution, and a bit of the good old pain. 

 

What is Relationship Anxiety?

 

Relationship anxiety refers to a feeling of persistent worry and anxiety arising from a romantic relationship. The feelings of insecurity and doubt, constant worrying, questioning, and overthinking are all signs of relationship anxiety.

 

Most people have relationship anxiety to some extent and that is a normal part of any romantic relationship. However, if your relationship anxiety is causing major issues in your relationship such as frequent arguments, and panic, and starts to disrupt your daily life, then it’s a sign that your relationship anxiety needs to be addressed and both partners need to work together to find solutions.  

 

What does Relationship Anxiety feel like?

 

Part of overcoming relationship anxiety is understanding how to identify how it feels. Below are some common signs to look out for.

 

1. Questioning your partner’s love for you

 

It’s normal to have doubts about your partner’s love for you from time to time. It may be due to certain things they say or do or oftentimes due to our insecurities. 

 

But if this becomes a constant and you find yourself questioning this more often than not, this could be a sign you’re dealing with relationship anxiety. 

 

2. Worrying that your partner may leave you 

 

We all have our insecurities and worry about ending up alone, even if we’re in a relationship or married. 

 

However, if your worries about your partner leaving you have started to interfere with your daily life, this is another sign to look out for. 

3. The urge to know your partner’s whereabouts and who they are with all the time

 

We all would like to know our partner is safe and generally where they are just for your mental peace. But if you constantly need to know their exact location, who they are with, and what they are doing, this could cause harm to your relationship in the long run. 

 

4. Constant Overthinking about your relationship

 

While it’s important to think about your relationship and your shared future together, constantly thinking about every little aspect of it can become very mentally draining.

 

If you find yourself overthinking about your relationship when there is no need to, this is another sign of relationship anxiety. 

 

5. Needing frequent reassurance from your partner

 

We all bring some of our past baggage into our relationships. And for you, it may be pain from previous relationships or even your childhood. 

 

If we have not healed from such trauma, we are highly likely to need frequent reassurance from our partner about their love for us and that everything is going well. 

 

6. An uneasy feeling in your stomach or chest area

 

As someone with anxiety myself, this is one of the first feelings that I get when I start to get anxious related to anything in my marriage. It could simply be being worried about my wife’s safety if I don’t hear from her for too long or the smallest sign she may be unhappy about something. 

 

In most cases, my worries were unwarranted and I realized that it was just anxiety. 

How do you deal with Relationship Anxiety?

 

Once you become better at identifying the signs of relationship anxiety, the next steps are actively working on overcoming them through a combination of awareness, honesty, mindfulness, self-improvement, and therapy. 

 

1. Try to identify the root cause of where your anxiety may be coming from

 

A lot of times our anxiety is rooted in our childhood experiences. If you had parents that you could count on, who gave you the attention and care you needed, you most likely have a secure attachment style. 

 

On the other hand, if you grew up feeling neglected or with a lot of trauma, you’re more likely to have developed one of the insecure attachment styles. 

 

However, it’s important to note that your upbringing and attachment style are not the only factors contributing to your relationship anxiety and it could be something else.  

 

2. Open and honest communication with your partner

 

If you’re going through relationship anxiety, it is very important that your partner understands, accepts, and is willing to be there for you to their best ability. After all, a loving partner is supposed to be there through hard times as well.

 

Try to have an open and honest conversation with them about your anxiety and let them know how you’re feeling. Maybe simple things such as letting you know where they are heading or even showing small gestures of affection more often can help you feel better. 

 

3. Have a mindfulness practice 

 

A person going through relationship anxiety is also highly likely to have anxiety in general about other things in their life. 

 

Starting a mindfulness practice such as meditation, a self-care routine, or other healthy habits, can be very helpful to develop a more positive perspective on life. This can reduce the signs of anxiety and make you feel more secure in your relationship. 

 

4. Work on your self-confidence

 

You should always work on building your self-confidence. Make the time to eat healthy, get enough sleep, establish an exercise routine, groom and dress well. 

 

By being more confident in yourself, you’ll see your self-worth and know that you’re worthy of love, happiness, and success. 

 

5. Seek professional help

 

Sometimes despite your best efforts, you may find yourself still unable to overcome your relationship anxiety. Take comfort in knowing that all is not lost and all your efforts are not in vain. 

 

A combination of therapy and the above actions has helped a lot of people overcome their relationship anxiety and build healthy relationships with their partner. 

How can you help an anxious partner?

 

Relationship anxiety doesn’t just affect the person suffering from it. It also affects their partner and the dynamic of their relationship in so many different ways. 

 

So if you’re currently in a relationship with a partner who suffers from relationship anxiety, below are some ways you can be more supportive and help them.

 

1. Be kind and reassure them as much as you can without getting frustrated

 

Sometimes, it can be a bit frustrating when your love and affection never seem to be enough for your partner. However, try to understand where your partner is coming from and do your best to show them more affection and kindness and tell them how much you love them.

 

2. Practice letting each other know where you are going and with whom

 

This is a great way to let them calm down and not worry about your safety. In case you’re unreachable for longer than normal they know where you are and have a backup contact if it ever came to that. 

 

3. Be more sensitive when talking about topics that may trigger them

 

Since insecurity is one of the main causes of relationship anxiety, be mindful of how you talk to your partner about certain topics. For instance, if you know talking about certain people, or things are likely to trigger anxiety in your partner and is an avoidable topic, don’t talk about it. 

 

If it needs to be discussed, be mindful of how you bring it up and tell them why it’s important to have that conversation.

 

4. Let them know they are not alone on this

 

Walking out on your partner when they are having an episode of anxiety about your relationship is a surefire way of making things so much worse. Instead, when they are feeling that way, sit down with them and reassure them that they are not alone and you understand them and will always be there to support them in every way you can.

 

Can you overcome Relationship Anxiety?

 

Relationship anxiety is a challenging obstacle for any relationship and can be difficult to overcome. But, with the right awareness, mindset, and support from your partner, family, friends, and professionals, you can overcome it and improve the quality of your life as a couple.  

Everything you need to know about Interpersonal Relationships

 

Interpersonal relationships are a fundamental part of being human. We are social beings that need each other to survive and live a fulfilling life.

 

In social psychology, an interpersonal relationship is defined as a social connection between two or more people. 

 

In a more practical sense, it’s the connections you build with people around you. Interpersonal relationships are essential for us as humans from a very young age and play a pivotal part in shaping our personality. 

 

What are the 4 types of Interpersonal Relationships?

 

Let’s dive deeper into the 4 different types of interpersonal relationships to have a better understanding of their significance in our lives. 

 

Family

 

The very first interpersonal relationship we build is with our family members. Starting from your parents to siblings, aunts, and uncles to cousins. 

 

You may have different levels of closeness to different members of your family, and it starts shaping you and your ability to build relationships from a very young age.  

 

Friends

 

This is often the second batch of interpersonal relationships you develop. Once you come of age to start school, you meet with other kids your age for the first time in your life. 

 

These relationships can sometimes have such an impact in your life and you can develop a very strong bond with them. 

 

Think about your current circle of friends. Chances are you have a few of them that you’ve known since you were kids and still maintain a very close relationship with them. 

 

Romantic Relationships

 

Romantic relationships are another type of interpersonal relationship that starts once you reach your teenage and continues all the way into adulthood. Out of all interpersonal relationships, romantic relationships are often the hardest and in most cases short-lived. 

 

This is because of the dynamics of a romantic relationship but on the bright side, romantic relationships aren’t always meant to last and often serve the purpose of knowing yourself so that you may have a better chance of finding the right person for you. 

 

Colleagues

 

Once you start working, you meet so many people in different office environments throughout your career. A lot of people say that they have sometimes built the best interpersonal relationships with colleagues who become lifelong friends. 

What are the 5 stages of Interpersonal Relationships? 

 

According to a 1980 study by psychologist George Levinger, interpersonal relationships are made up of 5 different stages. 

 

Let’s have a look at these 5 stages to understand where some of your current interpersonal relationships are at and how to make or break those for the betterment of yourself and the others involved. 

 

1. Acquaintance

 

This is where the initial connection begins. You may meet them at school, work, or social events. You get introduced to each other, and chat about your life, work, and any other common interests. 

 

This is often a very exciting stage as it’s fresh and there is the element of the unknown keeping things alive between people. 

 

2. Build-up

 

Once the initial acquaintance has been made, some of those relationships have a second meeting, a third meeting, and many more.

 

You are naturally drawn to people who match your energy and this is the dynamics behind close bonds despite it being friendship or a romantic relationship.

 

3. Continuation

 

Out of the dozens of people you meet in your life, not all relationships will continue and that’s fine. You’re not meant to build interpersonal relationships with everyone and it’s not even possible. 

 

You have a limited amount of energy and it is meant to be spent wisely with the people who are truly worth your time. 

 

4. Deterioration

 

Naturally, you will see some interpersonal relationships fade away as it serves no real purpose for both people. 

 

Others however may start to deteriorate due to differences, misunderstandings, and sometimes due to conflict. 

 

5. Ending 

 

The interpersonal relationships that do not continue will inevitably end. Some of them nicely without any hard feelings between both people while others will end with a bit of pain and suffering.

How to build successful Interpersonal Relationships? 

 

1. Become a great listener

 

To build and maintain successful interpersonal relationships we should learn to listen without interrupting and let the other person feel that they are being heard. In most social conversations, people speak just to share. 

 

2. Learn to be more present

 

Being present in the moment is another important skill to build long-lasting interpersonal relationships. If the other person feels like you’re distracted most of the time they will feel like you’re not interested in talking to them.

 

3. Show genuine interest

 

It’s hard to connect with people who seem like they aren’t interested in what you have to say. Showing a genuine interest in people and their conversations is a great way to build strong emotional connections. 

 

4. Patience

 

All of us have problems. Building interpersonal relationships with people requires patience and acceptance. Sometimes, people can be difficult to deal with. You need to be patient with people as long as their demands aren’t against your values. 

5. Be reliable

 

Reliability is one of the most important qualities needed for strong relationships. No one likes a person who never sticks to their word. If you’re a reliable person who stays true to your word, you will naturally attract the right kind of relationships that’s best for you. 

 

6. Empathy

 

The strongest relationships require empathy on both sides. You need to be able to put yourself in other people’s shoes and see things from their perspective. The ability to sense other people’s feelings can build emotional bonds that last a lifetime. 

 

7. Spend quality time together

 

All relationships require input from both people involved. It needs to be nurtured through conversation and quality time spent together. And interpersonal relationships are no different. 

 

8. Improve your communication skills

 

We should always work on improving our communication skills. This means being a better listener, ability to understand the other person, knowing when to speak and how to convey the message in the most impactful and respectful way. 

 

Why are Interpersonal Relationships so important? 

 

Interpersonal relationships are one of the main pillars of our lives. They keep us safe, provide us with a sense of belonging, teach us so many valuable lessons, and enable us to fulfill our goals in life. 

 

The importance of interpersonal relationships goes beyond a connection between family, friends, romantic partners, and colleagues. It influences us in so many aspects of our lives and shapes our future. 

Are you in a Healthy Relationship? Signs and Tips on How to Build One

 

What is a Healthy Relationship?

 

A Healthy Relationship is based on honesty, trust, acceptance, and open communication. It is supposed to uplift both partners and act as a support system for growth both as a person and as a couple. 

 

In a healthy relationship, both partners give and take equally and contribute to the success and nurturing of the relationship. They support each other in their own goals and are willing to accept each other’s differences for a bigger common goal which is the perseverance of the relationship. 

 

What are the signs you’re in a Healthy Relationship?

 

If you’re wondering if your relationship is healthy, below are some signs to look for.  

 

1. You can trust your partner

 

Trust is one of the pillars of any healthy relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to be able to blindly trust your partner without any sort of reasoning. Trust is a two-way street. If your partner portrays qualities like honesty, and reliability and stays true to their word, there is no reason not to trust them. 

 

If one partner is unable to trust the other based on previous bad experiences or any other reason, it is likely to create problems between the two of you. So, if you’re in a relationship where you both can trust each other, it is a good sign of a healthy relationship.  

 

2. You can communicate openly

 

Another key indicator of a healthy relationship is open communication. What this essentially means is that you’re able to communicate with your partner no matter how difficult things get. It’s easy to talk about fun and happy things in your relationship.

 

But it’s more important to keep the communication lines open and honest when things are difficult. A lot of times we see avoidant behavior from one or both partners when it comes to difficult conversations. If you and your partner can openly communicate through difficult situations, chances are you’re in a healthy relationship. 

 

3. You respect each other

 

Respect is earned and goes both ways. When I say respect I mean to say respect each other’s time, differences, and ways of doing things. No matter how ideal you are for each other, every person is different and has different priorities outside the relationship.

 

In a healthy relationship, both partners respect each other’s opinions on different things despite sometimes not agreeing with them. 

4. You can overcome disagreements

 

No relationship is perfect and all of them have disagreements. Sometimes over minor things and sometimes it can be a major conflict. 

 

In a healthy relationship, both partners accept the situation and come together to openly communicate about the issue and manage to overcome disagreements. This doesn’t mean it’s always easy to overcome them, but you find ways to compromise and find solutions. 

 

5. You have a life outside of your relationship

 

A very important sign of any healthy relationship is having a life outside your relationship. Humans are social beings and need to build connections apart from romantic relationships.

 

What this means is both partners have their friendships, family connections, and colleagues that you meet and hang out with. 

 

Now that you know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like, it’s time to learn more about how to build a healthy relationship and maintain it.

 

Related Posts

• 10 Genuine Tips on How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work

• What is a Toxic Relationship? – Knowing the signs and when to leave

• Understanding Attachment Styles and How to Overcome Them

• How to cope with Insecurities in a Relationship

 

How to Build a Healthy Relationship

 

1. Always be honest

 

All healthy relationships are built on trust which is something that cannot be earned without honesty. To build a healthy relationship, you need to be honest from the beginning and always stay honest and true to your partner and yourself. 

 

What we see a lot in relationships is one or both partners being dishonest to avoid being judged for their actions or even worse to cover up for disloyalty. If you want to build and maintain a healthy relationship, you need to be honest even if it means that you will have to go through an argument. 

 

2. Communicate often

 

Another important step in building a healthy relationship is communication. This is not to say that you should be talking to your partner all the time but to communicate enough and openly about the important things and also to talk about your day and smaller things in life. 

 

This builds intimacy and closeness between the both of you and helps you to understand and know each other better. Communication should be open through good and bad times in your relationship. 

 

3. Establish healthy boundaries

 

No matter how close you both are, there should be some sort of boundaries set in a relationship. Each of us is different and has our preferences. 

 

To build and maintain any healthy relationship it is very important to communicate what is and is not okay for you and ensure that both partners always respect those boundaries. This ensures that neither of you crosses a line that could create unhappiness in the other and lead to unnecessary arguments.  

4. Make time for intimacy and romance

 

Living in our capitalist societies today, most people are leading very busy lives trying to find the balance between love, career, family, and health. 

 

It is common for couples to lose intimacy and romance simply because they’re tired after their long working hours and trying to do so many other things simultaneously. But for a relationship to thrive and sustain, both partners need to make the time for intimacy such as going out on dates, talking to each other, and most importantly physical intimacy. 

 

5. Do activities together

 

Another important thing to do to maintain a healthy relationship is to do things together that both of you enjoy. You should try to go on dates regularly, cook together, go for a walk or run, and take vacations together as much as you can afford. 

 

6. Work on your own self-improvement goals

 

Part of maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner is also being able to have a healthy relationship with yourself. You need to feel happy, confident, and content about yourself first before you can make another person happy.

 

So even if you’re in a relationship, don’t forget that you’re also a person who needs to be taken care of. So continue to work on self-care, productivity, health, and mental well-being. 

 

7. Be accepting of hardship and challenges

 

Many people have completely unrealistic expectations from a romantic relationship. They assume a relationship is supposed to be easy and if it’s not then it’s not the right person for you. In many cases, this is not true.

 

Most couples that I know who have had long and healthy relationships say that you need to accept a lot of things you can’t change and be prepared to make compromises to make a relationship work. 

 

8. Be open to change

 

The only constant thing in life is change. And relationships aren’t any different. My relationship with my wife has changed so much over the past 5+ years we have been together.

 

Just because things aren’t what they used to be it doesn’t mean it’s not as good as before. Over an extended period of time, both of you change, and become more familiar with each other and it’s completely normal for things to feel more mellowed down and settled.

 

In my opinion, this just means that the relationship is maturing and you’re both more comfortable now and happiness comes through small things in life. So be prepared to embrace change.

 

I’m not claiming to be a relationship expert but hear me out..

 

Romantic relationships are not easy, and you should not go into one with that mindset. Relationships require trust, honesty, loyalty, consistency, and at times, being able to endure pain and hardship. 

 

But if two people are committed to making it work and staying together, a healthy relationship can be the stability you need in your life to grow into the best version of yourself.  

Understanding Attachment Styles & How to Overcome Them

 

We all have attachment styles in our relationships. By understanding what style of attachment you have, you can be more aware of your emotions and feelings and build a healthier relationship with your partner. 

 

Attachment is an emotional bond you develop with your primary caregiver from the moment you are born. In most cases – your mother. As a child, you depend on your primary caregiver for all your needs such as food, safety, and love. 

 

If your needs as a child were met by your primary caregiver, you are more likely to develop a secure attachment style. 

 

If your needs as a child were not taken care of, you were unable to depend on your primary caregiver often, or even worse if you were neglected as a child or went through trauma such as abuse, etc, you may grow up to develop one of the insecure attachment styles. 

 

What is Attachment Theory?

 

Founded by British psychologist John Bowlby, Attachment Theory is about the lasting psychological connections between human beings. 

 

It suggests that from birth, as a child we create a bond with our primary caregivers and the significance of this bond and how it impacts a person’s life as an adult. 

 

This theory dives deep into the long-term bond or relationship between a child and their primary caregiver as well as romantic partners. It also talks about the different stages and styles of attachment. 

 

In this post, we are going to break down all 4 styles of attachment and dive deeper into their characteristics, how it is formed, and their impact on your relationships as an adult. 

 

What are the 4 styles of Attachment?

 

1. Secure Attachment 

 

No parent is perfect, but as a child, if you were able to rely on your primary caregiver to fulfill your needs you are highly likely to have developed a secure attachment style.

 

This means your primary caregivers made you feel safe and understood and took care of your needs. When you receive such treatment as a child, your mind is wired to be able to trust and count on the people you have relationships with as an adult. 

 

People with a secure attachment style are more likely to build healthier and lasting relationships.

 

Characteristics

 

• You feel secure and find it easy to trust your partner
• You feel emotionally stable
• You can communicate openly and honestly with your partner
• You are comfortable alone and do things by yourself self even if you’re in a relationship
• You have good self-esteem and confidence

 

How it is formed

 

People who have a secure attachment style most likely got it from the unconditional love and care they received from their caregivers at a young age. It is a result of good parenting and making children feel loved, and safe, and their needs taken care of. 

 

As a result of the caregivers being emotionally available, the child learns to adopt this same attachment style and carry it well into their adulthood.

 

Impact in Relationships

 

People with secure attachment styles often find more success in relationships with romantic partners as they can process their emotions better, and be more trusting, loving, and open to receiving the same. 

 

They feel more secure emotionally and physically by themselves and in their relationship which leads to fewer problems such as jealousy, clinginess, and insecurity resulting in a much more stable and healthy relationship. 

2. Anxious Attachment  

 

An anxious attachment style is an insecure attachment style characterized by a fear of abandonment. People with anxious attachments tend to be generally insecure in romantic relationships. 

 

They are very likely to be constantly anxious and worried about their partner leaving them or the relationship not working out for many reasons which may not even really be a reason to worry about at all. 

 

Characteristics

 

• Constantly anxious about your partner leaving you
• Unable to regulate emotions in a healthy way
• Low self-esteem 
• Having trust issues with people for no valid reason
• Get hurt easily and sensitive to criticism 
• Tendency to develop jealousy beyond healthy levels

 

How it is formed

 

In most cases, people with an anxious attachment style experienced inconsistent care and love as a child. It’s likely that their caregivers were there for them many times but failed to be there for them often. 

 

It’s not due to them being bad parents, but could be a result of being too young, lack of experience and support, mental health issues, etc. 

 

Children who receive inconsistent attention and love at a young age develop the same attachment style and may show signs of insecurity and codependency in their relationships as adults. 

 

Impact in Relationships

 

People with anxious attachment styles lack self-esteem and feel that they are not worthy of love and attention from their partner. 

 

They seek constant validation and reassurance from their partner and may feel that the problems in their relationship are due to them. 

 

All these are different ways of expressing their ultimate fear of abandonment because they felt the same way as a child from the inconsistent care they received. 

3. Avoidant Attachment 

 

An Avoidant attachment style is an insecure attachment style where a person is fearful of both physical and emotional intimacy with their romantic partner. 

 

People with an avoidant attachment style may find it hard to build a close bond with their partner and have a tendency to keep a distance from them to avoid getting too close and intimate. 

 

Characteristics

 

• Afraid of intimacy both mental and physical
• Struggles to give and receive love and attention
• Finds it difficult to trust people despite their good intentions
• Difficulty expressing emotions and communicating their feelings
• Have a strong sense of independence
• Tendency to block people from becoming too close

 

How it is formed

 

Avoidant attachment style is usually a result of strict or absent caregivers as a child. If a child was left a lot of times to do things by themselves or criticized when in need of help, they are likely to have started to avoid asking for help from a young age.

 

They may have been expected to take care of things by themselves as a young child and therefore normalized this behavior into adulthood to avoid being rejected or disappointed. 

 

Impact in Relationships

 

A person with an avoidant attachment style may always keep their partner at a distance which eventually leads to them feeling like the relationship lacks intimacy. 

 

A relationship with a lack of emotional intimacy may last in the beginning when things are fresh but will begin to fade out when one partner starts feeling they are constantly being pushed away from building intimacy and closeness. 

4. Disorganized Attachment

 

A disorganized attachment style is characterized by inconsistent behavior and exhibits traits of both longing for love as well as rejection. 

 

People with a disorganized attachment style do seek love and affection but at the same time are afraid to show any vulnerability.

 

Characteristics

 

• High levels of anxiety
• Longing for love but afraid of commitment
• Portrays contradicting behavior
• Unable to trust people
• Difficult to communicate and resonate with

 

How it is formed

 

It stems from contradicting parenting a child receives. Starting from a young age if their caregivers acted as a source of both safety and fear, that child can start forming a disorganized attachment style. 

 

It can also be caused by neglect, trauma, and abuse received as a child which shapes the psychology of a child from a very young age. 

 

Impact in Relationships

 

People with disorganized attachment styles tend to seek out love but can be quick to push people away and completely reject them when they feel things are getting serious. 

 

This kind of behavior hurts the other partner leaving them confused and helpless. This style of attachment style can lead to unhealthy relationships that are toxic, draining, and even abusive. 

 

How can you overcome Insecure Attachments?

 

Insecure attachment styles can have different levels of impact on relationships depending on the severity. Learning more about the causes, styles, and characteristics can help you understand where your insecurities stem from.

 

Continuing to work on your self-improvement goals can also contribute to better management of attachment styles. 

 

• Related Post: How to cope with Insecurities in a Relationship

 

However, experts agree that if your attachment style is hurting your relationship, you may need the guidance of a professional to help you implement an effective strategy of action to overcome them.

 

It is very likely to be a difficult journey of ups and downs but it is going to be well worth it when you can learn and adopt a more secure attachment style.

 

How do you love someone with an Insecure Attachment?

 

A lot of us find ourselves in relationships with people with insecure attachment styles. Some of them can be extremely painful when things just seem to be getting worse. 

 

If you’re currently in such a relationship, learning more about attachment styles and talking to your partner in a supportive way to join the journey with you can help. If your partner is willing to do the hard work, it shows that they do want to overcome it. 

 

Let them know you’re there for them and will always try to understand things from their perspective. Whenever they need reassurance be willing to give it to them until they believe you are in it for the long term. 

 

A lot of people can turn it around and unlearn their childhood trauma completely and adopt a more secure attachment style. If you feel that the situation is well beyond fixable on your own, plan to start sessions with an expert to explore more options that can help.   

20 Aspirational Relationship Goals for Couples

 

Every couple dreams of achieving relationship goals and building a life of love, happiness, and excitement.

 

So you’ve found that one person you feel like is the one for you. You’ve both been together for a while now and gone through many things together. You’ve seen both the good and bad sides of your relationship and still decided to build a life together. 

 

If you’re currently in a relationship and ready to start a new chapter in life with your better half, keep reading to learn about some aspirational relationship goals to aim for and achieve together. 

 

To find more balance in life, it’s always good to create and achieve goals in different aspects of your life. Below relationship goals are focused on 4 very important aspects of every couple’s life together.

 

Love & Intimacy

 

Without love and intimacy, no relationship can survive long. And even if you’re currently in a good place with your life partner on this aspect, it’s important to always keep working and maintaining the love and intimacy in your relationship. 

 

Below are some great goals to set to create and maintain more love and intimacy with your life partner. 

 

1. Building trust

 

Trust is earned. While it’s okay to trust the person you love without much reasoning, both partners should always build and maintain trust between each other by being honest, reliable, and consistent with being there for the other.

 

2. Celebrating each other

 

Outside of your relationship, both of you have your own lives, dreams, and goals. Maybe it’s related to career, finances, fitness, etc. When your significant other achieves something they have been working towards, always take the time to celebrate them and let them know how proud you are of them. 

 

3. Open and honest communication

 

As a couple, there will be times when you need to address concerns and talk about things that aren’t easy. Even if it’s a difficult and uncomfortable subject to talk about, it’s very important for both of you to make the time and be able to talk openly and honestly.

 

4. Spending quality time together

 

In today’s societies, most couples work and therefore spend the majority of their day apart from each other. And when you’re back at home together, you may find yourself just too tired to do anything. While it’s okay sometimes to just rest, it’s also very important to spend quality time together with your partner. 

 

It doesn’t always have to be fancy dinners or going out. You can spend quality time with each other at home too. 

 

5. Learn their love language

 

Different people express love and care differently. For instance, my wife’s way of showing me love is through physical affection while I show it more by doing things for her. 

 

Talk about how both of you prefer it and try to be there for them in a way that makes them feel safe, important, and loved.

Finances

 

Unless you’re married into royalty and have everything provided to you, every couple needs to earn, save, and spend money. Financial burdens are one of the most common issues causing problems between couples. 

 

To keep your finances afloat, both partners should learn to be financially savvy, find ways to earn and save more and spend less. Below are some financial goals to achieve as a couple. 

 

6. Create a monthly budget

 

Creating a monthly budget and sticking to it is so important as that will decide if you’re able to earn and save as much as you should while keeping expenses within the allocated budget. 

 

7. Open a joint savings account

 

A joint savings account with a good interest rate is a great way to save for the future and not be worried about a rainy-day emergency. Both partners can agree to put a certain amount every month to this account and watch it grow and gain interest over time. 

 

8. Start investing together

 

A savings account may not give you the best return on your investment. Start looking at other ways to invest your money such as in stocks where you are likely to have a much higher return. 

 

You can take up a small percentage of the monthly savings and put it into stocks instead of putting everything in a savings account. 

 

9. Keep no secrets about money

 

As a couple, both partners need to be aware of each other’s loans, debts, credit history, and any other financial burden they may be carrying. By being transparent, both partners can plan and manage the household finances better. 

 

10. Set financial targets

 

Setting financial targets is a great way to make sure your earnings, savings, and spending as a couple are on track with your short-term and long-term goals. 

 

Different couples have different financial goals and your daily, weekly, and monthly financial habits need to align with your goals. 

Future Planning

 

This should be a very important aspect of every couple’s life together. A future plan makes your commitment to each other and your goals as a couple stronger and more likely to last.

 

Below are some important future planning goals to aim for.

11. Saving for the down payment for a home

 

Every family needs a home. You may just be a couple right now and get by living in a rented apartment or your family home. But chances are, in the near future you will have kids and later on they will have their own families.

 

Take a portion of your savings every month and start investing in a high-interest savings account. 

12. Start planning to start your own family

 

One of the biggest mistakes young couples make is having kids without properly planning for it. It can be tempting to have a kid given how much it can change your life and bring so much joy. 

 

However, raising a child is a big responsibility and as a couple, you need to be financially able to afford it and mentally mature enough to endure it. 

 

So, have a rough timeline of when you want to have kids, how much money you need to save for it, and try to enjoy your time as a couple right now. 

13. Open a savings account for your future children’s education

 

Education is expensive. When you have children, you need to invest money in their education and provide them with all the necessary support. 

 

College and University fees are higher than ever and by opening a savings account now, you’ll be in a much better position by the time your kids come of age. 

14. Plan for Retirement

 

We are all going to be old someday and unable to work to earn a living. While you still can do so, it is so important that both as a couple and individually to have a retirement fund that you’ll have access to when that time comes and ensure you live a comfortable life when you are old. 

15. Make a 5-year plan

 

Making a 5-year plan comprising all your goals with timelines as a couple and the actions needed to achieve them can make such a difference in your life. 

 

It will keep you on track as a couple and help you identify the progress you’re making and make changes as you go along. 

Travel & Lifestyle

 

Life is all about the experiences you have. And as a couple, it’s no different. Make it a goal to have great experiences together that will help you learn, improve your health, and enjoy life to its fullest.

16. Start an exercise routine

 

Exercising as a couple can help you stay motivated and keep each other accountable when you don’t feel like it. I’m not saying you have to always do it together, but making the time to exercise together will make your relationship stronger. 

17. Cook together

 

If both of you love cooking, then great. Even if one of you doesn’t enjoy it as much, just being there with the other helping out and testing out new recipes can be an enjoyable experience and make you bond more. 

 

It’s also a great way to save more money and eat healthy. 

18. Go on dates often

 

Staying home cooking your meals is great, but so is going out on dates together. When you’re going out to eat make it a special occasion. 

 

It doesn’t always have to be a fancy dinner, you can go see the sunset with a drink together, have a long nice drive, or go to a movie. It’s more about the mindset than the materialistic element attached to it. 

19. Read & learn together 

 

I always say learning is a lifelong commitment just like love. Reading together as a couple is an amazing way to share new knowledge with each other and learn valuable information that can help to improve your life as a couple. 

20. Travel together 

 

With the world being as accessible as it is now, I think at one point we all have caught the travel bug. Traveling together as a couple can be such a rewarding experience and you get to enjoy so much food, culture, and nature together. 

 

Aim to travel at least once a year together to a new place. If you can afford it why not more? There are so many amazing experiences out there waiting for you and your significant other.  

 

Conclusion 

 

Relationship goals can be so different for people but I hope that you found the goals in this post helpful or at least inspire you to come up with your own set of goals in your relationship.

 

The most important thing is to set those goals, stay loyal and humble, and never stop working towards achieving them as a couple. 

What is a Toxic Relationship? – Knowing the signs and when to leave

 

The thing about a toxic relationship is any one of us can get sucked into one. The signs aren’t always straightforward and can start popping up after some time when you thought everything was going fine. 

 

In most people’s adulthood, they are likely to meet and build relationships of different types with people with toxic traits. I think most of us have some toxic characteristics in our personality. 

 

However, when you’re becoming close to people you should be a bit cautious as relationships involving certain types of people are more susceptible to a toxic relationship. 

 

Experts say that people with mental illnesses such as bipolar disorders, depression, etc are more likely to have toxic relationships due to their already existing sensitivity to negative emotions. 

 

How do you know if your relationship is toxic?

 

When you’re so close to someone, you are more willing to accept their shortcomings and imperfections. And that is perfectly normal. After all, all relationships are built on acceptance, trust, and willingness to make things work despite the challenges. 

 

However, you should also know how to identify toxic signs that are slowly damaging your relationship and can get out of control quickly if not dealt with on time. Below are 10 signs to look out for if you’re feeling your relationship seems to be heading in the wrong direction. 

 

1. You seem to be arguing a lot more lately

 

Disagreements and arguments are part of every relationship and can also be a sign that the relationship is important for both partners and you both refuse to let things pass if it isn’t right. 

 

But if your arguments have started to stem from minuscule things that can be solved peacefully, that’s a sign that there might be more going on. 

 

2. Getting irritated with each other too easily

 

If you live together and share a living space all the time, you may sometimes get irritated with how your partner does things. But most of those things should be fixable through open communication. 

 

Lately, if you feel like despite your efforts you seem to be rubbing each other the wrong way and the smallest things about your partner seem to irritate you, the root cause of it could be something else.   

 

3. You start feeling distant from your partner

 

Human beings have an amazing ability to adapt to things. When you care about something and someone, you develop it even more, to protect something that adds so much value to your life. 

 

You may have already been through so much toxicity in your relationship that you’ve developed coping mechanisms. Over time, this may also start creating both emotional and physical distance between you and your partner due to constant negative emotions related to your life with them. 

 

4. You no longer look forward to seeing each other

 

This is a major sign there are some serious issues in your relationship. Small toxic things happening frequently can do so much damage to your relationship over time. If you find yourself avoiding each other or not looking forward to seeing them, this is a sign not to ignore and needs to be addressed. 

5. You feel like you can’t talk to each other openly

 

When you’re arguing so much and there are so many negative emotions arising in your relationship, communication can be one of the first things to take a hit. If it has come to a point where open conversations are turning into judgment, heated arguments, and disrespect, it’s a sign that your relationship is already on the spectrum of a toxic relationship.  

 

6. You’re being judged constantly for everything  

 

Judgment is not fundamentally wrong even though we have tied so much negativity to the word. It’s just to form an opinion on something. And sometimes judgment is good and can save you from trouble. In a relationship between two people, there can be a judgment of each other’s actions. 

 

If it’s in the form of constructive criticism, it can be healthy for both partners. However, if the judgment is rooted in other issues in the relationship and is being tossed around whenever possible, it’s a sign of toxic behavior. 

 

7. You’ve had to become distant from family and friends

 

In toxic relationships, there are a lot of arguments involving other people and the time spent with them. This stems from insecurity and an element of controlling behavior. 

 

If you find yourself avoiding seeing your friends and family as it could lead to an argument with your partner, this is something you should not tolerate. 

 

8. Start blaming each other for problems instead of trying to solve them

 

It’s so much easier to blame the other person for the problems in your relationship rather than take responsibility for your part in the problem. I am not saying you need to own up to things that aren’t your fault. 

 

But if you’re seeing more and more of the blame game for all the problems in your relationship, this could mean things are turning toxic and you need to address it before it’s too late.

 

9. You’ve started seeing controlling behavior

 

Controlling behaviors usually start in very subtle ways. First, it may be just the occasional request not to go out with your friends and family. If it’s being asked of you without valid reasoning, you should always politely communicate with your partner why their opinion may not be true. 

In a lot of toxic relationships, things like that gradually become things like what you’re allowed to wear, whom you can hang out with or talk to, and overall control of your free will to live your best life within acceptable boundaries.

 

10. It’s becoming harder to trust your partner

 

Every relationship is based on trust and honesty. If your partner is constantly not staying true to their word such as what they will and will not do, and you know is lying to you, it can lead to trust issues. 

 

Once you can’t trust your partner, it’s very difficult to rebuild that trust and can lead to a very toxic relationship and sometimes depending on what the lie was about, irreversible. 

What to do in a toxic relationship?

 

A toxic relationship can make you stuck, depressed, and helpless. It will take more out of you than give back. On one hand, is the person you love and saw spending your life with while on the other hand is your diminishing mental and physical health, sense of self and personality, and happiness. 

 

If you’re currently part of a relationship that you feel has become toxic, below are some ways to begin your journey to try and revive the joy of your relationship or make the difficult decision to end it and move on with your life no matter how hard it is. 

 

1. Have an honest conversation to address the issues

 

The first step is to try to talk to your partner and convince them to sit down to talk honestly about everything. If they agree, this is already a positive sign that they may be willing to work through the difficulty. 

 

During this meeting, be sure to address all concerns you have and everything that’s affecting you because of them. And be ready to hear their side of the story and listen without interrupting. 

 

2. Decide if both partners are willing to take responsibility for their part

 

After this conversation, it’s very important to mutually take responsibility for your part that may have caused pain and suffering to the other person and caused them to react in a certain way. 

 

Once you and your partner take responsibility, you can move on to the next step.

 

3. Decide if both partners want to work on the issues to reignite your love for each other

 

The next step is to make sure you’re both still on the same page when it comes to fighting to save your relationship. If either of you are no longer passionate enough or willing to put in the work, unfortunately, it may be better to let each other go rather than prolong the suffering and pain. 

 

If both partners are willing to work on the issues and make some changes, then it’s time to find a plan that works for both of you. 

4. Take some time off from each other if that’s what is needed to clear your mind and put things into perspective

 

This is not always necessary depending on how toxic things have become before you address the issues. 

However, experts agree that some time off each other can give both partners the space needed to see the value of each other and miss them enough to start appreciating what they were taking for granted.

 

You’re the best judge of your relationship, so come to an agreement between your partners and set some rules to make sure both of you are on the same page. Remember, you’re giving each other some space, and not breaking up. 

5. Talk again after an agreed period to offer solutions that work for both partners

 

Once you have taken the time, hopefully, you’re both in a much better place mentally and speaking with clarity. Come up with solutions for the things that were causing problems in your relationship and agree on boundaries moving forward. 

6. Take things slowly and do things together that you both used to enjoy

 

Once you’re back to talking and seeing each other as you would normally before all the problems, take the time to take things slowly and try to do things together and do all the nice little things you used to do for your partner at the beginning of the relationship. 

 

Go on dates, leave each other sweet messages, and put in effort to let your partner know that you love and value them. 

7. Take advice from an expert

 

Sometimes, no matter how much you try to find solutions and make things work it just doesn’t seem to work. If this is the case for you, all is still not lost. There are relationship experts who can look at the dynamics of your relationship from an unbiased point of view and offer solutions. 

 

Many couples have revived their relationship or marriage with the help of relationship experts and today there are many options to find an expert that is suitable for you. 

 

Can you recover a toxic relationship? 

 

This is the big question. Can a toxic relationship be fixed? The short answer is yes. It can be fixed and I speak from personal experience in my life. There was a time in my relationship with my wife when things turned toxic and weren’t working out. We took the time, talked things through, made some changes, and keep working on our relationship (now marriage) to this day.

 

Not every toxic relationship can be fixed and maybe it’s better not to be fixed sometimes. That being said, given that both partners are open to communicating, accept responsibility, and are ready to put in the work, a toxic relationship can be fixed and can even become stronger than it used to be.  

10 Genuine Tips on How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work

 

Making a long distance relationship work can be hard. But that’s not to say that it’s any less rewarding than a normal relationship where both partners aren’t separated by geographical location. 

 

Most adults go through a point in their dating life when they are temporarily separated from the person they love. While the challenges it brings are many, with the right mindset and commitment from both partners, long distance relationships can be just as happy, fulfilling and enduring as any other relationship. 

 

Many couples who have successfully built a happy life together even vouch for the period of long distance as one of the keystones of their long lasting relationship. 

 

If you’re currently in a long distance relationship with someone you absolutely love and see yourself with in the future, but are having a hard time with the physical distance between you, take comfort in knowing that long distance relationships can work and your chances of making it with that person are not any less. 

 

Some personal background and experience 

 

Me and my wife have been together for almost 6 years now. We met back in 2018 and due to circumstances, have had to do long distance up until we got married in October 2023. Five years of long distance has allowed both of us to learn so much about what it takes to make it work.

 

While every relationship is unique, when it comes to making a long distance relationship work, there are some important values that both partners need to discuss, respect, and withhold. 

Do long distance relationships work?

 

In short, the answer is absolutely yes. Long distance relationships have just as much of a chance of working as a relationship where the couple lives close to each other given that in the long distance relationship also, the couple are able to visit each other in person at least a few times a year.

 

And don’t let anyone else make you believe otherwise. Not every relationship will work long distance or not and it doesn’t need to. Every person’s judgment is influenced by personal experiences of themselves or people they know. 

 

Why are long distance relationships hard?

 

Every romantic relationship poses its challenges. However, long distance relationships have some unique challenges that come along with geographical separation, infrequent communication, and financial challenges of traveling to see each other. Let’s look at some of the common challenges faced by couples in long distance relationships.

 

• Unable to see each other in person as much as you would like to
• Disagreement between how often and how much to communicate with each other
• Lack of understanding of the real-life situation of your partner, circle of friends, and existing relationships with friends and colleagues 
• Uncertainty of when the long distance can end and both of you can start living in the same area where you’ll be able to see each other regularly
• More intense emotions, jealousy, insecurity, anger, etc related to the relationship
• The financial burden of traveling expenses to visit each other

 

How to make long distance relationships work

 

If you’re still reading, I believe you are the kind of person willing to make it work despite the difficulties and pain of enduring a long distance relationship. 

 

Below are in my experience 10 very important tips to consider if you and your partner are willing to put in the work and go the distance in your relationship.

1. Prioritize each other

 

This is the most important aspect of any romantic relationship even more in long distance relationship. Both you and your partner should commit to prioritizing each other for the long term. 

 

This is not to say to drop everything else in your life. Of course, your work and career growth, family, friends, and self-care time are very important. However, be ready to sometimes be there for your loved one instead of that night out with friends. 

 

It’s all about balance and both partners being on the same page. 

2. Make an effort to always communicate in some form in the morning and before bed

 

This might not be very important for all couples. But I feel that it’s something that means a lot to most people. To know that your partner is okay at the start and end of every day. 

 

It gives the perfect opportunity to check in with each other, talk about how the other’s day went, and wish each other well at the start of the day. 

 

Spending time with each other using the means of video and audio calls can help to build closeness and intimacy which are super important to make a romantic relationship last. 

3. Try to meet in person as often as possible

 

Now this may always be possible or convenient. But every couple can have a schedule that works for both people. Depending on how far you’re from each other, you can plan to meet on weekends, once a month, or a few times a year.

 

Taking the time to come see each other shows both partners how much you value each other and reinforces your love and commitment to each other. 

4. Have something to look forward to together

 

Most moments in life are mundane and filled with different tasks that may not be meaningful to you. As a couple, it’s no different, and going for too long without anything to look forward to can make both partners feel that their relationship lacks excitement and experiences to be shared.

 

Even if you’re living far from each other, always make plans to do things together. It can be to go see a movie the next time you meet each other, go for a romantic dinner, a weekend escape, or travel together on a vacation. 

5. Always trust your partner as long as they don’t give you a reason not to 

 

This is a big one. A lot of relationships fail due to a lack of trust in one another. All of us carry the baggage and pain of our past experiences. If you have been betrayed in the past, you may find it difficult to build trust in your partner. 

 

But always understand that this is a new person who has not betrayed you. I know this is easier said than done, but if you are going to make a long distance relationship work, you have to find a way to trust your partner until and unless that person starts giving you reasons not to.

 

This is not meant to say be naive, you must also be watchful of any odd behaviors and make sure to talk to your partner respectfully if you have doubts about something or a situation involving your partner. 

6. Always check in with your partner on how they are feeling

 

Small gestures as simple as regularly checking in with your partner on how they are feeling can be an impactful way to let them know you care about their feelings and well-being. 

 

Not only does it help to build trust and closeness but can leave a lasting impression on how safe and intimate you feel with one another. 

7. Talk about future plans

 

Now this step depends also on how long you’ve been together. Some couples become close really fast while others take much more time to learn each other before making bigger commitments. 

 

Being far from each other can make you feel isolated from your partner and make it seem like your relationship is much more fragile than a relationship where two people live in the same city. Talking about future plans together can reassure each other that your intentions are towards the same things and both of you see each other in your future. 

8. Compliment each other

 

Just because you are far from each other geographically doesn’t mean you can’t make each other feel good about themselves. When you’re talking to your partner via video calls or even sharing photos, take the time to compliment each other. 

 

Compliments are not just about physical beauty but also about how you treat each other, other aspects of their life, and how they handle things. It’s a way of appreciating each other and the qualities that brought you both together. 

9. When things get difficult, give each other space

 

Long distance or not, romantic relationships can be very hard. Not always, but you can speak to any couple and they will tell you they had to work through a lot of hardships to make it work. 

 

Long distance relationships can carry the additional burden of lack of physical touch and make things harder when issues come up. It’s important to create some boundaries and how to react when such things happen. 

 

However, giving each other the space to process things, regather your thoughts, and talk to each other when the heat of the moment has passed, can allow both of you to see things more clearly and solve problems in a healthier way.

10. Continue to work on yourself

 

Even if you now see yourself as part of a couple, your own traits, habits, and ways of doing things can influence how healthy your relationship is. So just because you are in a relationship now, don’t stop working on yourself. 

 

Do the things you would normally do, maybe even do it better now to become the best partner for your loved one. Continue to learn new things, create healthy habits, and become the best version of yourself.

 

Conclusion

 

After all you’ve been through, you may ask. Should I commit to a long distance relationship? If the person you’re with is worth the challenges and both of you are willing to work on your relationship, then absolutely. 

 

Despite the challenges, if two people are willing to put their differences aside and put in the work to make a long distance relationship work, it can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling things in your life.  

How To Cope With Insecurities in a Relationship

 

I think we can all agree that as human beings, none of us are always full of confidence about every aspect of our life. Even the most seemingly successful ones have different things in their life that they are attached to, and feel insecure about. It could be about how you look, what your job is, how much money you make, what your home looks like and a long list of many other things. 

 

However, the feelings of insecurities become more apparent when it comes to romantic relationships. How to cope with insecurities in a relationship is something that the majority of us have to deal with at some point in our lives. When emotions and feelings are involved, we tend to face our insecurities more often and with much greater intensity.

 

If you’re reading this and feel that you have a relationship with a seemingly good future, but the insecurities of either you or your partners (or both) are constantly causing problems, identifying the root causes and learning how to cope with insecurities can significantly improve or even save your relationship.

So, what are some of the causes of insecurities in a relationship?

• Neglect or Mistreatment: People who have been neglected in the past especially as a child, may grow up to see these issues surfacing much later in life when they are in committed relationships as an adult. This happens because they never had that kind of care and love received regularly as a child. It can cause a lot of insecurity for the fear of losing what you have.

• Lack of self-worthiness: A lot of the time, your self-esteem can also be rooted back to your upbringing. Children who were bullied and constantly looked down upon can easily carry forward this same belief very much into their adulthood. We often end up projecting these fears into our relationships and partners due to our self-insecurities. Despite where your lack of self-worthiness is coming from, the consequences of this remain the same and that is that it can lead to a lot of insecurities in your relationship.

• Past Experiences: If we have had partners who have been disloyal to us in the past, this could very likely interfere with how we see our current partners. It’s easy to create narratives in our minds about your current partner based on seemingly similar situations or issues. Not only is this unfair to your current partner, but it can easily become a cycle of mistrust and cause serious issues in your relationship.

You may or may not already know where your insecurities are coming from, and that’s the first step towards making a change for the better. Now comes the most important part.

What can you do?

1. Start with mindfulness: Or shall we call it awareness here? To break from a negative mental pattern like this you first need to acknowledge that there is an issue of insecurity in your relationship, and it is negatively affecting your relationship. Unless you take ownership of your shortcomings, things are unlikely to change and you may see yourself in a recurring problem that drains both you and your partner. So being aware and mindful of the situation can help you overcome insecurities and eventually beat whatever that’s causing you to act insecure in your relationship.

2. Commit to open and honest communication: How couples communicate can make or break a relationship. Two people with a lot of problems can still make things work through open and honest communication. The same can be said about couples who do not seem to have a lot of issues but can’t seem to make things work because neither of them can communicate effectively. When dealing with insecurities in your relationship it is very important when and how issues are being addressed between the two. Is it going to come up in the middle of an argument when things get bitter? Or do you both address it respectively at a convenient time for the both of you? One thing is certain, it’s that if you’re not communicating about your problems because it seems hard and likely to cause an argument, then it means you’re bottling it up and it will eventually come out in a more hurtful way which may be a lot more difficult to work through.

3. Know it’s not always about you: When two people are so emotionally involved as in a romantic relationship, any unfavorable action from your partner may seem like it’s because of you. For instance, if your partner doesn’t feel like going out for dinner, maybe it’s just because they had an exhausting day and want to just stay home? Dropping this hardwired psychological conditioning of self-centered thinking can help you see things as they are and enjoy the present moment without overanalyzing every situation.

4. Work even harder on your personal goals: Let’s be real. It is very common for people to get lazy and unmotivated when they are always worrying about where they are in their romantic relationship. If you used to be someone who had great aspirations and goals, going after it even more diligently is one of the best ways to get your awareness out of a mental rut of insecurity. This makes so much sense considering a lot of insecurities come from false self-belief that you’re not good enough.

5. Seek help: Sometimes despite all the effort you put in to keep your insecurities at bay, you may feel stuck and helpless. This is where seeking the help of a professional therapist comes in. A different perspective from a trained professional might just be what will help you put things into perspective and work through your insecurities in a more measured way.

While we all feel insecure in our relationships from time to time, it is not normal if it’s affecting all other aspects of your life. If these insecurities are constantly getting in the way of your health, goals, family and other important things in your life, you need to start making changes. If you’re unsure about how to start, give the above thoughts a try. Only you can bring about the necessary changes in your mindset to beat this insecurity and hopefully make your relationship with your partner the most beautiful thing ever.