Understanding Relationship Anxiety: Signs and How to overcome them

 

A romantic relationship with the ideal partner is a dream for most people. We all dream about it from a young age and wait impatiently to meet that person. 

 

However, once you get there and the honeymoon phase of your relationship passes, it becomes clear that there are so many more dynamics to a romantic relationship. A healthy relationship consists of love, communication, shared interests, conflicts, conflict resolution, and a bit of the good old pain. 

 

What is Relationship Anxiety?

 

Relationship anxiety refers to a feeling of persistent worry and anxiety arising from a romantic relationship. The feelings of insecurity and doubt, constant worrying, questioning, and overthinking are all signs of relationship anxiety.

 

Most people have relationship anxiety to some extent and that is a normal part of any romantic relationship. However, if your relationship anxiety is causing major issues in your relationship such as frequent arguments, and panic, and starts to disrupt your daily life, then it’s a sign that your relationship anxiety needs to be addressed and both partners need to work together to find solutions.  

 

What does Relationship Anxiety feel like?

 

Part of overcoming relationship anxiety is understanding how to identify how it feels. Below are some common signs to look out for.

 

1. Questioning your partner’s love for you

 

It’s normal to have doubts about your partner’s love for you from time to time. It may be due to certain things they say or do or oftentimes due to our insecurities. 

 

But if this becomes a constant and you find yourself questioning this more often than not, this could be a sign you’re dealing with relationship anxiety. 

 

2. Worrying that your partner may leave you 

 

We all have our insecurities and worry about ending up alone, even if we’re in a relationship or married. 

 

However, if your worries about your partner leaving you have started to interfere with your daily life, this is another sign to look out for. 

3. The urge to know your partner’s whereabouts and who they are with all the time

 

We all would like to know our partner is safe and generally where they are just for your mental peace. But if you constantly need to know their exact location, who they are with, and what they are doing, this could cause harm to your relationship in the long run. 

 

4. Constant Overthinking about your relationship

 

While it’s important to think about your relationship and your shared future together, constantly thinking about every little aspect of it can become very mentally draining.

 

If you find yourself overthinking about your relationship when there is no need to, this is another sign of relationship anxiety. 

 

5. Needing frequent reassurance from your partner

 

We all bring some of our past baggage into our relationships. And for you, it may be pain from previous relationships or even your childhood. 

 

If we have not healed from such trauma, we are highly likely to need frequent reassurance from our partner about their love for us and that everything is going well. 

 

6. An uneasy feeling in your stomach or chest area

 

As someone with anxiety myself, this is one of the first feelings that I get when I start to get anxious related to anything in my marriage. It could simply be being worried about my wife’s safety if I don’t hear from her for too long or the smallest sign she may be unhappy about something. 

 

In most cases, my worries were unwarranted and I realized that it was just anxiety. 

How do you deal with Relationship Anxiety?

 

Once you become better at identifying the signs of relationship anxiety, the next steps are actively working on overcoming them through a combination of awareness, honesty, mindfulness, self-improvement, and therapy. 

 

1. Try to identify the root cause of where your anxiety may be coming from

 

A lot of times our anxiety is rooted in our childhood experiences. If you had parents that you could count on, who gave you the attention and care you needed, you most likely have a secure attachment style. 

 

On the other hand, if you grew up feeling neglected or with a lot of trauma, you’re more likely to have developed one of the insecure attachment styles. 

 

However, it’s important to note that your upbringing and attachment style are not the only factors contributing to your relationship anxiety and it could be something else.  

 

2. Open and honest communication with your partner

 

If you’re going through relationship anxiety, it is very important that your partner understands, accepts, and is willing to be there for you to their best ability. After all, a loving partner is supposed to be there through hard times as well.

 

Try to have an open and honest conversation with them about your anxiety and let them know how you’re feeling. Maybe simple things such as letting you know where they are heading or even showing small gestures of affection more often can help you feel better. 

 

3. Have a mindfulness practice 

 

A person going through relationship anxiety is also highly likely to have anxiety in general about other things in their life. 

 

Starting a mindfulness practice such as meditation, a self-care routine, or other healthy habits, can be very helpful to develop a more positive perspective on life. This can reduce the signs of anxiety and make you feel more secure in your relationship. 

 

4. Work on your self-confidence

 

You should always work on building your self-confidence. Make the time to eat healthy, get enough sleep, establish an exercise routine, groom and dress well. 

 

By being more confident in yourself, you’ll see your self-worth and know that you’re worthy of love, happiness, and success. 

 

5. Seek professional help

 

Sometimes despite your best efforts, you may find yourself still unable to overcome your relationship anxiety. Take comfort in knowing that all is not lost and all your efforts are not in vain. 

 

A combination of therapy and the above actions has helped a lot of people overcome their relationship anxiety and build healthy relationships with their partner. 

How can you help an anxious partner?

 

Relationship anxiety doesn’t just affect the person suffering from it. It also affects their partner and the dynamic of their relationship in so many different ways. 

 

So if you’re currently in a relationship with a partner who suffers from relationship anxiety, below are some ways you can be more supportive and help them.

 

1. Be kind and reassure them as much as you can without getting frustrated

 

Sometimes, it can be a bit frustrating when your love and affection never seem to be enough for your partner. However, try to understand where your partner is coming from and do your best to show them more affection and kindness and tell them how much you love them.

 

2. Practice letting each other know where you are going and with whom

 

This is a great way to let them calm down and not worry about your safety. In case you’re unreachable for longer than normal they know where you are and have a backup contact if it ever came to that. 

 

3. Be more sensitive when talking about topics that may trigger them

 

Since insecurity is one of the main causes of relationship anxiety, be mindful of how you talk to your partner about certain topics. For instance, if you know talking about certain people, or things are likely to trigger anxiety in your partner and is an avoidable topic, don’t talk about it. 

 

If it needs to be discussed, be mindful of how you bring it up and tell them why it’s important to have that conversation.

 

4. Let them know they are not alone on this

 

Walking out on your partner when they are having an episode of anxiety about your relationship is a surefire way of making things so much worse. Instead, when they are feeling that way, sit down with them and reassure them that they are not alone and you understand them and will always be there to support them in every way you can.

 

Can you overcome Relationship Anxiety?

 

Relationship anxiety is a challenging obstacle for any relationship and can be difficult to overcome. But, with the right awareness, mindset, and support from your partner, family, friends, and professionals, you can overcome it and improve the quality of your life as a couple.